Volume 1, Issue 11
Dear Reader,
Here it is Friday morning, and I am sitting down to write this week's edition of the newsletter. The topic was pretty clear to me yesterday - and I could have sent this out - but I guess I needed to practice what I preach. I actually scrapped yesterday's version, and decided to wait until today to publish. You see this week's edition is about taking personal time - finding time for "self-care." And I guess you can say that is what I needed yesterday.
Personal time can come in many shapes and sizes, but self-care time is dedicated to recharging and refreshing. It's that simple. Sometimes we just need to decompress from the daily stressors in life and the pressures we place on ourselves. At least that's where I was yesterday... (My wife even called me half-way through the day to see why I hadn't published yet).
That said - it has been an exciting week here following Memorial Day weekend. Our son has really "stepped" it up (no pun intended) and has gone from wobbly legs to almost full out "running" in the house. He took his first steps sometime before the weekend of May 17th - and here it is just two weeks later that he is walking around the house. And let me tell you this, he is a force to be reckoned with. There is nothing he is not trying to get in - and he certainly enjoys the new freedom to find me wherever I am (which is never too far away of course).
http://www.theADHDparentsmovie.com
Taking Some Important Time For "Self-Care"
By, Dr. Rory Stern
Whether you are the parent of a child with ADHD - or if you yourself
have ADHD - there is nothing more critical than taking time for
yourself. Honestly - no matter what your situation is in life,
there is still nothing more important
than taking time for yourself. And I am not just talking about
any time. No - I am talking about time that you are devoting to
yourself, time where it is all about you!
When life gets going and we get fully immersed in work or in
managing our homes, it can often feel nearly impossible for us to
actually schedule time for ourselves. With the demands of a job,
a family, bills to pay, and lives to manage - taking time is often the
last thing on our mind. This is particularly true (and even more
critically important) when you are the parent who is juggling
frustration, tears, anxiety, worry... You name it!
I know it can feel selfish, unearned, or even not warranted...
But I
can promise this, taking time for yourself is just about the most
important thing you can do. It is the most important and most
precious act you can give yourself. (And it just might be the most important "gift" you can give your child and your loved ones).
Don't take it just from me... In one of our recent "Strategy
Series" calls, Evelyn Polk-Green even mentioned the importance that
self-care plays in our lives:
"...you have to focus on self-care and you have to know
your limits so you don't get burned out."
After the day I had yesterday, I could probably go on and write a short book on this topic, but I just want to say that being burnt out, overwhelmed, frustrated, and just plain old exhausted (physically and emotionally) is just not a very safe state to be in.
When we are that tired - we are likely not going to be making rational decisions. We are most likely acting in survival mode, and even if you know it, there is a chance you won't be able to stop and get out of it.
Because I was there myself (and will likely get there again), I want to share 5 steps with you for taking time to yourself.
Step 1: Take A Step Back
It's not always easy to do, but when you feel yourself getting frustrated, the first thing to do is to take a step back and slow down. Our society is getting faster and faster, and we are never really taught to slow down. In fact, we are likely taught to work even harder and harder.
Step 2: Evaluate Your Priorities
Simple questions to ask yourself: What can wait? What can't wait? You might be surprised to know that there are very few things that can't wait. And trust me - when you are feeling to pressured, everything can wait just a day or two for you to unwind and recoup.
Step 3: Find Something That Is Yours
This might just be the most critical step! We all need some space or a hobby that is just ours. And it's not enough just to take an extra 5 minutes in the shower or going to the grocery store. Self-care needs to be much bigger than your normal routine. It needs to be something you can fully own and be a part of.
Step 4: Schedule Time
When you reached your limits, and there is too much to do, personal time is never going to just happen. Put it in your calendar and schedule it. Make it a block of time where you are committed to taking care of yourself. If you don't make time for it, it will not make time for you.
Step 5: Personal Day
Last but not least, when things are getting to be at their very worst (or close to it), schedule a personal day just for you. Drop some activity and focus on having some fun. Put work aside... And maybe even let your child schedule their own personal day. It might sound counter-productive, but we all need personal time.
What do you do?
Let us know some of the ways you take a break from everything going on, and we'll share that with everyone next week.
PS - Okay, I could stop... I got thinking a little more. Here are some things that can happen as a result of not slowing down.
1. Tasks take twice as long
2. Can't think clearly
3. More easily frustrated
4. Not fun to be around
5. Mean
I am sure there is more I can't think of...but I am just amazed at the difference one day made for me and my productivity (not to mention the clarity in my head).
Announcing the ADHD Strategy Series!
It's NOT too late to sign up. Our speakers are really getting personal here and providing information and strategies that you can begin using immediately. We are talking strategies here... Real strategies from real advocates in the ADHD community that will help you start to experience a difference in your child's life, your life, and in your family's life - starting today!
Real strategies, real people, real solutions...
Your Own Support Community
ADHD Support Network - Join our growing community of parents and advocates looking for an additional circle of support and resources. This is a forum that was created for our registered guest at the ADHD Strategy Series. If you haven't joined this group - I would welcome you to come find out what we are up to.
Do you have questions?
If you are struggling to get the answers you need... the answers that will make a difference for your family and your child(ren), then wait no more! As a valued reader and subscriber, you can contact me and ask the questions you need answers for.
If I don't know the answer, I will find someone who does know it, and we'll learn together.
Send in your questions here... Just be sure to use "Question" in your subject line.
The Truth Behind ADHD is managed by Dr. Rory Stern. Dr. Stern is an advocate, therapist, coach, and speaker on parenting children with ADHD. In managing "The Truth" and this newsletter, he offers a unique style of providing parents of children with ADHD both information and insight into what their child is experiencing. In addition, he connects with parents on a level that allows them to understand their own struggles along with how their children are struggling. His main goal is to provide parents with the support, encouragement, and resources to take action now - so they can start to experience change in their child's life, as well as in their own.
Read more about The Truth...
Disclaimers
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The material contained within this newsletter and any additional mailings are only for educational and informational purposes.
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The Truth Behind ADHD does not guarantee or provide any warranty for the information presented.
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You should continue to make any and all medical and mental health decisions with your licensed medical professionals.
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The Truth Behind ADHD cannot make any specific diagnosis or recommended individualized treatment plans in this capacity.