May 8th, 2008
Volume 1, Issue 8
A Note From Rory

Dear Reader,
Well, I couldn't be more excited!  Just last week I announced the upcoming ADHD Strategy Series to you, and many of you have already taken action.  I am so excited that you are getting involved and looking for this information.  I know for sure that I am!  I will be learning along with you - grilling these speakers for content and strategies that goes more in-depth than most of us get.

And to be sure of this, I have been in touch with our featured speakers to go over some of the content and strategies we will be talking about.  But enough about what I think.  Check it out for yourself, and I can't wait for you to join us for The ADHD Strategy Series.

Oh - just one more thing.  I want to thank everyone who has written in with questions and comments about the series.  I have really enjoyed getting to know you better, and I look forward to continuing these conversations.

Rory Stern, PsyD
http://www.theADHDparentsmovie.com

PS - If you know other parents or educators who you believe will benefit from this information (and the ADHD Strategy Series), please feel free to pass this newsletter long.  Just be sure to remove the "Unsubscribe Link" below.
Featured Article

What If Your Child Couldn't Do
What You Asked Of Him?
By, Dr. Rory Stern

A lot of parents write in and ask about how they can deal with a child who won't listen or who has trouble following directions.  Of course this is very general question, so I always ask for more.  The information that follows tends to be differnet, but of course there are some common themes and questions that are raised.  Here are a few of the most recent questions I have been asked:

  • Why can't my son clean his room?
  • How can I make him listen or obey others?
  • Why does he continue to ignore his schoolwork?
  • How can I make my child respect others?
While it might be obvious, I want to state for the record that we cannot make anyone do anything.  Not even our children.  It's important for me to say this, because this belief can sometimes be deeply rooted - and mindset is everything.  If we think something, it can have an impact about what we really believe is possible.

Children with ADHD have brains that are wired differently.  That's the most basic way I can put it.  So when we ask a child to do something, most of us might expect or believe that they are fully capable of following directions.  After all, I am willing to bet that most parents (at one point or another) have the argument about keeping a room clean or following directions.  Knowing that, why would we think any differently about the outcome of such a discussion?

Is it too much to think that a child with ADHD should be able to keep his or her room clean?

One thing I want to suggest here is that we change our expectation...  Let's reconsider how we understand what might be going on, and what be might the cause of the problems?

So I'll ask the question: What if our children were not capable of following the directions we asked?

Instead of thinking they are choosing NOT to listen - what if they were listening, but they weren't able to follow-through?  What if their struggles or managing of ADHD were the one thing getting in the way?  For instance, many children with ADHD have a difficult time with reward charts NOT because they aren't good - but because they struggle with directions...because they struggle with processing multi-step commands and can end up be stuck or frozen.

I may not have all the answers on how to help with these questions, but I can tell you that how you approach it can make all the difference in the world.  Children with ADHD face very unique challenegs based on their specific symptoms and struggles.  I know I don't have to tell you that...

The fact of the matter is that the answer to these questions relies partially on understanding our children and child development, along with understanding children with ADHD.

There is no quick-fix, and there is no easy way out when it comes to helping our children.  The true answers lie in testing strategies, and sticking with the ones that work.  In terms of helping them keep their rooms clean or in listening to others - the bottom line comes down to modeling (showing - not telling), providing support and encouragment, and , giving things time.

Respect is earned...and should never be forced.  Listening to others can be framed in terms of safety.
News & Events

Announcing the ADHD Strategy Series!

You DON'T want to miss this event.  Our speakers are going to get really personal here and give you information and strategies that you can begin using immediately.  We are talking strategies here...  Real strategies from real advocates in the ADHD community that will help you start to experience a difference in your child's life, your life, and in your family's life - starting today!

Real strategies, real people, real solutions...

PS - You are also the first to know - the first to find out - that our ADHD Support Network on Facebook is going to be an integral part of the ADHD Strategy Series.  You are going to be able to interact with other attendees and some of our speakers as well.
About The Truth

The Truth Behind ADHD is managed by Dr. Rory Stern. Dr. Stern is an advocate, therapist, coach, and speaker on parenting children with ADHD. In managing "The Truth" and this newsletter, he offers a unique style of providing parents of children with ADHD both information and insight into what their child is experiencing. In addition, he connects with parents on a level that allows them to understand their own struggles along with how their children are struggling. His main goal is to provide parents with the support, encouragement, and resources to take action now - so they can start to experience change in their child's life, as well as in their own.

Read more about The Truth...

Disclaimers

  1. The material contained within this newsletter and any additional mailings are only for educational and informational purposes.

  2. The Truth Behind ADHD does not guarantee or provide any warranty for the information presented.

  3. You should continue to make any and all medical and mental health decisions with your licensed medical professionals.

  4. The Truth Behind ADHD cannot make any specific diagnosis or recommended individualized treatment plans in this capacity.
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Copyright © 2007-2008 Rory F. Stern, PsyD - All Rights Reserved